Monday, December 20, 2010
A long week
First an update on Emily, as some of you know already Emily had been very ill last week. She is feeling much better now, thanks to some antibiotics. To fill everyone in on what has been going on with us, on Dec. 9th Emily woke in the middle of the night as usual but this time was very fussy and just not herself, she felt very warm and had a temp of almost 101. She started with some cold symptoms later the next day and I just figured it was all related. Well the cold symptoms cleared up after a few days and the Fever even broke for part of a day, but then returned. After a few trips to the doctor and having her blood taken twice, the doctor needed to find the source of the fevers. Emily was now on her 7th day of fever. At that point the doctor checked a urine sample. It looked like Emily had a UTI (urinary tract infection) this was confirmed a few days later after a final culture was back. Emily was started on an antibiotic to fight the infection and since has been feeling much much better, her fever broke for good in the early afternoon on Dec. 16th (almost exactly 24 hrs. after starting the antibiotic).
Due to the concern for any underlying cause of the UTI some additional tests need to be done though. Next week we will go into Mercy Hospital for these tests. They are to check to make sure kidneys and ureters are functioning normal and no urine is refluxing up the ureters from the bladder to the kidneys. This urinary reflux can cause the infections sometimes, and with someone so young it is abnormal to get an UTI and we just have to make sure nothing else is going on. If this reflux is found it means a daily antibiotic for a year to help prevent infection and then the tests are done again at that point to see if the condition still exists. Most of the time kids have grown out of it after a year.
I am glad that Emily is feeling better, and we found the source of the fevers and were able to treat it. I am concerned about her though, and just hope that everything checks out ok next week. We have had our fair share of "issues" with our little girl, and I really hope we get a break on this...I would not change anything though, everything we have gone through has made us a stronger family and has made us love our little girl that much more and it really makes you realize how special little ones are. Truly a gift.
Emily is now 12 weeks old and changing every day. Emily is talking more and more, and has started to squeal a few times I think she may start to laugh any day now. She loves to read books, and gets very excited when we read together. She still loves music and also get excited when we sing to her. She is starting to reach out and grab onto things and will hold onto a toy for awhile. A few times she has even brought objects up to her mouth to suck on, and will put her pacifier back in her mouth when it slips out. She always has to have something in her mouth to suck on, you will usually find her with a pacifier, fingers, or blanket in her mouth. She knows who her mom and dad are, she is better about letting others hold her now but keeps her eyes on us at all times. She lights up every evening when Paul comes home and give him a big smile and tells him all about her day when he comes home. Paul has these little games that he plays with her and she loves them! Emily has always enjoyed bath time, but the last few times she has had a blast in the tub, she kicks and splashes and really gets moving in the tub!
We are looking forward to our first Christmas with Emily, and celebrated Christmas with the Jorgensen family this past weekend. Emily got to meet some family for the first time and had fun with her cousins. We will celebrate on Christmas Eve with my parents and immediate family and then plan to travel to visit Paul's family after Christmas. We are looking forward to visiting with everyone and feel blessed to have the best gift of all - our Emily.
Some pictures from the last week or two. Emily is about 10 pounds now by the way.
Due to the concern for any underlying cause of the UTI some additional tests need to be done though. Next week we will go into Mercy Hospital for these tests. They are to check to make sure kidneys and ureters are functioning normal and no urine is refluxing up the ureters from the bladder to the kidneys. This urinary reflux can cause the infections sometimes, and with someone so young it is abnormal to get an UTI and we just have to make sure nothing else is going on. If this reflux is found it means a daily antibiotic for a year to help prevent infection and then the tests are done again at that point to see if the condition still exists. Most of the time kids have grown out of it after a year.
I am glad that Emily is feeling better, and we found the source of the fevers and were able to treat it. I am concerned about her though, and just hope that everything checks out ok next week. We have had our fair share of "issues" with our little girl, and I really hope we get a break on this...I would not change anything though, everything we have gone through has made us a stronger family and has made us love our little girl that much more and it really makes you realize how special little ones are. Truly a gift.
Emily is now 12 weeks old and changing every day. Emily is talking more and more, and has started to squeal a few times I think she may start to laugh any day now. She loves to read books, and gets very excited when we read together. She still loves music and also get excited when we sing to her. She is starting to reach out and grab onto things and will hold onto a toy for awhile. A few times she has even brought objects up to her mouth to suck on, and will put her pacifier back in her mouth when it slips out. She always has to have something in her mouth to suck on, you will usually find her with a pacifier, fingers, or blanket in her mouth. She knows who her mom and dad are, she is better about letting others hold her now but keeps her eyes on us at all times. She lights up every evening when Paul comes home and give him a big smile and tells him all about her day when he comes home. Paul has these little games that he plays with her and she loves them! Emily has always enjoyed bath time, but the last few times she has had a blast in the tub, she kicks and splashes and really gets moving in the tub!
We are looking forward to our first Christmas with Emily, and celebrated Christmas with the Jorgensen family this past weekend. Emily got to meet some family for the first time and had fun with her cousins. We will celebrate on Christmas Eve with my parents and immediate family and then plan to travel to visit Paul's family after Christmas. We are looking forward to visiting with everyone and feel blessed to have the best gift of all - our Emily.
Some pictures from the last week or two. Emily is about 10 pounds now by the way.
Sleeping, during the day she will nap like this but still has to be swaddled tight at night to sleep.
Bath Time!
Emily also loves getting changed and dressed, here we are getting dressed after a bath.
All ready for Christmas at Grandpa and Grandma Greats house!
Putting the paci back in.
You know you are special when Noah gives you crusty :)
Noah playing with Emily. He is so sweet with her, he was tickling her in the top picture and singing to her in the bottom picture.
Emily and Eli. Eli loves Emily a little too much sometimes, but I can't wait until they are a little older they will have so much fun together.
Holding onto our book.
Ok, and now to try to upload a video again. I have another of her talking and one of bath time. I hope it works this time.
Monday, December 13, 2010
All Snuggled Up
That pretty much describes what Emily and I have been doing all day. Today marks the day that I should have returned to work after maternity leave, so I'm enjoying the fact I am home with my snugly little girl.
Emily has been sick all weekend with cold symptoms (cough, nasal drainage/congestion) and fever, I took her to the doctor this morning and everything checked out ok. Emily did have to have a blood test done to make sure everything looked viral, since she had a fever for so long just to make sure we were not missing anything. Everything looked good and we were sent home to continue doing what we have been and watch for a few more days. This afternoon Emily has really turned a corner and is doing much better. She still has all the cold symptoms but her temperature is 99-100 without any Tylenol (we were doing Tylenol every 4 hrs. over the weekend and it would only get down to 100.2 with Tylenol). Her fever broke a few hours ago and I think that has really made her feel better, she is much more happy and acting more like herself, but still needing some extra loving and protests whenever I put her down.
I have been trying to learn Photoshop with the help of my dad. I have been working on some photos today that I took last week and hope to have them done soon. It is taking me much longer than I expected to work on them and it really gives me an appreciation for the time intensive end products that I always took for granted from my dad. I need to get a finished product so that I can finish up my website with some images that I did. Once I get more familiar with Photoshop that will help speed things up some.
The last few weeks Paul and I have been trying SO hard to get a video of Emily "talking" to us, she has such a sweet little voice and will be cooing up a storm and then we pull the camera out and she either stops or starts to fuss at us. She seems almost startled by the camera at times and other times just stares at it, very quiet and still, trying to figure out what that thing is. Today I got her talking and then pulled out the camera (that I had ready and waiting at my side) and started the video. I think I got it! You can't see her the well in the beginning since its from the side and I could not really see what I was doing, but you can hear her and then I got her face some at the end. Please excuse the crusty nose from nasal drainage :) I will post some pictures from the last week too.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5jxzSf9JNGQ
I was not able to upload the video to my blog for some reason. Please use the link above to view.
Emily has been sick all weekend with cold symptoms (cough, nasal drainage/congestion) and fever, I took her to the doctor this morning and everything checked out ok. Emily did have to have a blood test done to make sure everything looked viral, since she had a fever for so long just to make sure we were not missing anything. Everything looked good and we were sent home to continue doing what we have been and watch for a few more days. This afternoon Emily has really turned a corner and is doing much better. She still has all the cold symptoms but her temperature is 99-100 without any Tylenol (we were doing Tylenol every 4 hrs. over the weekend and it would only get down to 100.2 with Tylenol). Her fever broke a few hours ago and I think that has really made her feel better, she is much more happy and acting more like herself, but still needing some extra loving and protests whenever I put her down.
I have been trying to learn Photoshop with the help of my dad. I have been working on some photos today that I took last week and hope to have them done soon. It is taking me much longer than I expected to work on them and it really gives me an appreciation for the time intensive end products that I always took for granted from my dad. I need to get a finished product so that I can finish up my website with some images that I did. Once I get more familiar with Photoshop that will help speed things up some.
The last few weeks Paul and I have been trying SO hard to get a video of Emily "talking" to us, she has such a sweet little voice and will be cooing up a storm and then we pull the camera out and she either stops or starts to fuss at us. She seems almost startled by the camera at times and other times just stares at it, very quiet and still, trying to figure out what that thing is. Today I got her talking and then pulled out the camera (that I had ready and waiting at my side) and started the video. I think I got it! You can't see her the well in the beginning since its from the side and I could not really see what I was doing, but you can hear her and then I got her face some at the end. Please excuse the crusty nose from nasal drainage :) I will post some pictures from the last week too.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5jxzSf9JNGQ
I was not able to upload the video to my blog for some reason. Please use the link above to view.
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Family News and My Perspectives Photography :)
I am excited to announce (for those who don't already know) I have quit my job as a pediatric nurse. This decision came after alot of thought, discussion, and prayers. I never thought twice about returning to work before Emily came along, I was going to have her, stay home for 12 weeks and return to work. Once Emily joined us everything changed - for the better. I now could not sleep and night knowing that I was going to have to go back to work and leave her for almost 10 hrs. every day. My sister was going to be watching her and that made it sit better with me, I knew that family was going to be with her all day and even though she had to be away from me it was my sister - her aunt - watching her who I trust completely and I knew she would be very well cared for and truly loved. As the weeks ticked by it just got harder and harder knowing the time was coming all too soon where I would have to be away from my little girl. I shed many tears over knowing I was going to have to leave her...I would have done anything to be able to stay home with her and love her all day, but we have bills to pay.
Paul and I started talking and we had decided for me to go back part time, I was going to try and have 2 days off a week - but be flexible. My job previously had let many many other nurses work part time and change schedules to be more family friendly, so I never anticipated it to be an issue. I had gone as far as telling some family and friends that I would be going back part time (3-4 days a week) before it was even official. When I tried to work it out with my employer it was not possible. Due to the current staffing demands they really needed a full time nurse, so the next week after much more discussion and debate I turned in my resignation letter.
While deciding to go back to work part time, I had decided to start a photography business to supplement the income. I sat down one day and though about what I really enjoy doing and what makes me happy (besides holding Emily all day). I immediately knew taking pictures was the answer. For as long as I can remember I have been interested in photography. Some of my favorite memories growing up are helping my dad in the darkroom in our house on 8th Ave. And helping or playing in the darkroom at his office. If I wrote them all out this blog would be too long and you would all get so bored. In high school photography was offered as an elective, I signed up for every class I could. It was so relaxing for me to go out and just take pictures. I just had so much fun (and was so happy) during the whole process.
Over the last few years I have looked at nice cameras and just wished I could get back into photography again. Well now I am, so my idea for little supplemental income is now turning into a full time business. I have decided to become a Photographer. This will allow me to set my own work hours, and stay at home more. I want to specialize in maternity through childhood portraits. Paul and I had been remodeling part of our house which I had been annoyed that we were taking so long to finish - poor Emily needs a room. It has worked out perfect though, now we will be able to have part of the job finished as I want for a photography studio. It is not a huge area, but it will work perfect for portraits and it has an outside door so clients can come and go and not have to be in our main house. I can get the area set up just how I want to! I will also plan on going to clients homes to do portraits and have come up with some fun ideas that I hope will help get my business started. I know it will be slow going at first and things will be tight around the Braem home financially but Emily is worth every sacrifice. I keep telling myself something my dad said to us when we told them I was going to work part time and start doing photography. He said (based on much experience) that you will never regret the sacrifices you make now, to improve things for your child. It is so true, and I feel blessed that I am able to make this change to spend more time with Emily. I also have been so blessed that my dad has sat down with me and spent many hours looking at camera reviews, helping me pick out a professional camera to get started and has given me many tips and pointers along with hand me down supplies. And I look forward to many lessons to come :)
I just look at Emily now and instead of tears that I have to leave her all day I have tears of joy that I am so blessed and lucky to have an amazing husband that has been so supportive and while I was going back and forth with the issue he just flat out said to me "you are not going back". And supportive parents that I still look to for advice who have listened to me, and my dad especially who has helped me VERY much with the photography end of things. And my sister, she is a mom too and has been very understanding and supportive. I really felt bad backing out on her as daycare is her job and income for the family.
I have started my website so you will have to check it out. Nothing much up yet but everything needs to start somewhere. Eventually I will post all my client photos after a job to the "galleries" area and then clients will be able to order prints right on the website. I am very excited!
http://www.myperspectivesphotography.com/
Paul and I started talking and we had decided for me to go back part time, I was going to try and have 2 days off a week - but be flexible. My job previously had let many many other nurses work part time and change schedules to be more family friendly, so I never anticipated it to be an issue. I had gone as far as telling some family and friends that I would be going back part time (3-4 days a week) before it was even official. When I tried to work it out with my employer it was not possible. Due to the current staffing demands they really needed a full time nurse, so the next week after much more discussion and debate I turned in my resignation letter.
While deciding to go back to work part time, I had decided to start a photography business to supplement the income. I sat down one day and though about what I really enjoy doing and what makes me happy (besides holding Emily all day). I immediately knew taking pictures was the answer. For as long as I can remember I have been interested in photography. Some of my favorite memories growing up are helping my dad in the darkroom in our house on 8th Ave. And helping or playing in the darkroom at his office. If I wrote them all out this blog would be too long and you would all get so bored. In high school photography was offered as an elective, I signed up for every class I could. It was so relaxing for me to go out and just take pictures. I just had so much fun (and was so happy) during the whole process.
Over the last few years I have looked at nice cameras and just wished I could get back into photography again. Well now I am, so my idea for little supplemental income is now turning into a full time business. I have decided to become a Photographer. This will allow me to set my own work hours, and stay at home more. I want to specialize in maternity through childhood portraits. Paul and I had been remodeling part of our house which I had been annoyed that we were taking so long to finish - poor Emily needs a room. It has worked out perfect though, now we will be able to have part of the job finished as I want for a photography studio. It is not a huge area, but it will work perfect for portraits and it has an outside door so clients can come and go and not have to be in our main house. I can get the area set up just how I want to! I will also plan on going to clients homes to do portraits and have come up with some fun ideas that I hope will help get my business started. I know it will be slow going at first and things will be tight around the Braem home financially but Emily is worth every sacrifice. I keep telling myself something my dad said to us when we told them I was going to work part time and start doing photography. He said (based on much experience) that you will never regret the sacrifices you make now, to improve things for your child. It is so true, and I feel blessed that I am able to make this change to spend more time with Emily. I also have been so blessed that my dad has sat down with me and spent many hours looking at camera reviews, helping me pick out a professional camera to get started and has given me many tips and pointers along with hand me down supplies. And I look forward to many lessons to come :)
I just look at Emily now and instead of tears that I have to leave her all day I have tears of joy that I am so blessed and lucky to have an amazing husband that has been so supportive and while I was going back and forth with the issue he just flat out said to me "you are not going back". And supportive parents that I still look to for advice who have listened to me, and my dad especially who has helped me VERY much with the photography end of things. And my sister, she is a mom too and has been very understanding and supportive. I really felt bad backing out on her as daycare is her job and income for the family.
I have started my website so you will have to check it out. Nothing much up yet but everything needs to start somewhere. Eventually I will post all my client photos after a job to the "galleries" area and then clients will be able to order prints right on the website. I am very excited!
http://www.myperspectivesphotography.com/
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Dear Emily,
Today you are 2 mos. old, I am amazed by you daily. Our lives have changed unimaginably since you have come into the world. You are a true blessing!
Your favorite things are your pacifier, woombie (or to be swaddled), music, and your swing (moving side to side). You would prefer to be held all day long :) At times you are picky with who is holding you. Sometimes you just don't like new people to be holding you at all, but that's ok because then mommy does not have to share you :). You love to play your little games with daddy, and listen to his voice when he gets home from work. We spend our day together talking and singing and looking at some black and white picture books. Sometimes we will get a rattle out and you are starting to show more interest in them. You are cooing alot now and giving us lots of smiles. You are one strong little girl, you are most happy sitting up, you have started to sit up with some help already! You are fussy at times but I don't mind because it just means we get to cuddle more that day. I feel bad when you have a fussy day because I know you are uncomfortable because of your reflux. Otherwise you are a happy girl unless you are tired, hungry, gassy, or mom makes you wear a hat outside.
I love you so very much, more than you will ever know. My biggest fear these days is that if something were to ever happen to me you would not know how much I loved you. I would miss all the opportunities to tell you and miss all the hugs and kisses. You are such a gift, and I feel blessed to have YOU as my little girl.
A few pictures at 2 mos. with your favorite things :)
Love
Mommy
Your favorite things are your pacifier, woombie (or to be swaddled), music, and your swing (moving side to side). You would prefer to be held all day long :) At times you are picky with who is holding you. Sometimes you just don't like new people to be holding you at all, but that's ok because then mommy does not have to share you :). You love to play your little games with daddy, and listen to his voice when he gets home from work. We spend our day together talking and singing and looking at some black and white picture books. Sometimes we will get a rattle out and you are starting to show more interest in them. You are cooing alot now and giving us lots of smiles. You are one strong little girl, you are most happy sitting up, you have started to sit up with some help already! You are fussy at times but I don't mind because it just means we get to cuddle more that day. I feel bad when you have a fussy day because I know you are uncomfortable because of your reflux. Otherwise you are a happy girl unless you are tired, hungry, gassy, or mom makes you wear a hat outside.
I love you so very much, more than you will ever know. My biggest fear these days is that if something were to ever happen to me you would not know how much I loved you. I would miss all the opportunities to tell you and miss all the hugs and kisses. You are such a gift, and I feel blessed to have YOU as my little girl.
Love
Mommy
Sunday, November 21, 2010
8 weeks!
Well I don't know where the time has gone, it seems like just yesterday we brought home our little girl and now she is 8 weeks old! Emily had her 2 mo. check up last Friday afternoon, she is now 9lbs 1oz. (my birth weight). She has moved up to the 15-20th percentile for weight now, her length remains at the 50th percentile (21 3/4 inches). Dr. Becky said that was good growth and her weight will continue to catch up to her length. We also discussed feeding and her reflux issues. We started a new reflux medication after the appointment, and so far it seems to be working well. I still have not tried to lay her down in her pack n play to sleep though.
Emily continues to breastfeed without the nipple shield, I even took it out of the diaper bag and returned an unopened one to target yesterday. I don't think we will need to use it ever again! I can tell that she is getting more to eat,and can eat quicker without the shield. Since stopping with the shield she has started to look more filled out! I am so happy that we got our feeding problems figured out.
Sleep has left our house though, and I really miss it. Ever since I posted that she was sleeping so well, Emily decided to prove me wrong...Now I am lucky to get 3 hrs. of sleep at once. Over the past week I really think her reflux was getting worse, and the medication was wearing off sooner and just not working as well as it had. When she would be sleeping she would often cry out in her sleep and I could hear her cough, choke, gag, and clear her throat. While she would stay asleep, I would be awake listening. Since starting the new medication (prevacid) she has not made these reflux sounds, but it has only been two nights so far. I hope that the new medication continues to help and provide Emily with more comfort. Maybe once she is feeling better she will start sleeping well once again.
Emily continues to breastfeed without the nipple shield, I even took it out of the diaper bag and returned an unopened one to target yesterday. I don't think we will need to use it ever again! I can tell that she is getting more to eat,and can eat quicker without the shield. Since stopping with the shield she has started to look more filled out! I am so happy that we got our feeding problems figured out.
Sleep has left our house though, and I really miss it. Ever since I posted that she was sleeping so well, Emily decided to prove me wrong...Now I am lucky to get 3 hrs. of sleep at once. Over the past week I really think her reflux was getting worse, and the medication was wearing off sooner and just not working as well as it had. When she would be sleeping she would often cry out in her sleep and I could hear her cough, choke, gag, and clear her throat. While she would stay asleep, I would be awake listening. Since starting the new medication (prevacid) she has not made these reflux sounds, but it has only been two nights so far. I hope that the new medication continues to help and provide Emily with more comfort. Maybe once she is feeling better she will start sleeping well once again.
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Happy Days
We returned from a very nice weekend visit with my grandparents in Columbia, MO. Emily and I rode along with Amanda and the boys; it was a very nice visit but not nearly long enough. Emily did much better in the car than I thought she would, we had some sleeping issues once we returned (since she slept all day in the car two days in a row) but we are back on track now.
She is now sleeping even better than she was prior to the trip. She still has to sleep in the swing or the Fisher-Price rocking seat. If she has her head elevated (she is pretty much sitting up) she will now sleep for 4-6 hrs. at once! It's amazing how good I feel after a stretch of sleep like that, it's the most sleep I have had in many months! I just hope she keeps it up, after I catch up on some sleep and we get her reflux problems taken care of I will try to get her sleeping in the pack n play (or crib if her room is done).
More good news is Emily has been nursing nipple shield free! She has been doing this for a week now; I'm not tossing them out yet but am very pleased with the progress. Emily still needs some convincing at times that she must nurse without them, but its better and better every day. It only took her 7 weeks to learn how to breastfeed, but what is important is that she did it!
Emily's next doctor visit is this Friday; I am really looking forward to seeing how much she weighs and how long she is. I think she has been growing a lot the last few weeks, I can tell a difference with how her clothes are fitting. She has not filled them out, but she is too long for some of her sleepers.
She is now sleeping even better than she was prior to the trip. She still has to sleep in the swing or the Fisher-Price rocking seat. If she has her head elevated (she is pretty much sitting up) she will now sleep for 4-6 hrs. at once! It's amazing how good I feel after a stretch of sleep like that, it's the most sleep I have had in many months! I just hope she keeps it up, after I catch up on some sleep and we get her reflux problems taken care of I will try to get her sleeping in the pack n play (or crib if her room is done).
More good news is Emily has been nursing nipple shield free! She has been doing this for a week now; I'm not tossing them out yet but am very pleased with the progress. Emily still needs some convincing at times that she must nurse without them, but its better and better every day. It only took her 7 weeks to learn how to breastfeed, but what is important is that she did it!
Emily's next doctor visit is this Friday; I am really looking forward to seeing how much she weighs and how long she is. I think she has been growing a lot the last few weeks, I can tell a difference with how her clothes are fitting. She has not filled them out, but she is too long for some of her sleepers.
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Emily Update
Well, my little peanut is not so little anymore. I stopped by my work yesterday on an outing to get vitamin D drops (you are suppose to supplement if you are breast feeding). She is almost 6 weeks old now so I figured it was time to start. I had waited because I wanted her nursing well before we added something new and she already takes so much medicine during the day (baby zantac three times a day and gas drops 2-3 times a day). I was hesitating to give her one more thing - but she needs them, so we started yesterday. But back to my original thought, Emily is now 8 lbs and 1 oz. The nurse in me had to figure out how many grams per day since her last weigh in. Turns out that she is up 25 grams/day since her last weight check, that does not mean much to many of you, but its amazing progress! I am so happy with her weight gain, which ideally is 30 grams/day in the beginning, but goes down as they get older. 25 grams is the biggest weight gain per day for Emily yet (she started out at 4 gm/day).
She is still small for her age, at the 10-15th percentile for weight and wearing all newborn clothes with room to grow, but she's doing great!
Here are some recent pictures, from the last week. I try to post pictures frequently on our Shutterfly share site. The link is on the right, the password is sugarandspice. I selected the option for being a password protected site and did not post the password before and was just giving it out as people asked. Like I mentioned before, I have become much more paranoid since becoming a mother. I've had this fear that strangers would read my blog and get access to the pictures and figure out where we lived. I can go on and on...but I guess that won't really happen...
She is still small for her age, at the 10-15th percentile for weight and wearing all newborn clothes with room to grow, but she's doing great!
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Breastfeeding and the Blues
After having yet another breakdown the other night I decided to write about my stresses to just get it out, it has always helped me in the past to journal about things - I have not kept a journal for years but for me once its out on "paper" it helps relieve some of the stress. Before Emily arrived I would talk to probably one mom a day about breastfeeding giving whatever advice I knew from the books - never having done it myself, so I knew it was not going to be easy. I had no idea just now difficult it was going to be though, but I am stubborn enough to keep going - unfortunately Emily is just as stubborn :)
Our difficulties started from day one, we had a hard labor and delivery that resulted in Emily having a fever, broken clavicle, and swallowing ALOT of fluid. This caused her to be very sleepy, in pain, and very sick (lots and lots of spit up and a sore tummy). She was too sleepy to be interested in eating right after birth (plus her tummy was full of fluid). Then she had to stay in the nursery overnight, the nurses would not bring her out to me, due to the large amounts of spit up they wanted to watch her closely because she was choking on it at times. Positioning was made difficult because of her painful injury. Due to the delay in her eating, we ended up having to start by training her how to suck.
We had to train her with finger feeding. We would place a finger in her mouth, and let her suck, pushing her tongue down to the proper position when needed to get the correct suck. After she got the hang of moving her tongue correctly then we started to use a syringe to give her some food. A big hurdle was over, she now knew how to suck, we just needed to get her to the breast and now almost 6 weeks later this is still my struggle. We started the process using a nipple shield, a plastic nipple placed over mine - this hits the roof of her mouth right away to trigger the natural suck reflex. We still had to teach her that food now comes from the breast area and not our fingers, this was again done by syringe. When someone was able to help me, they would syringe food behind the shield or into her mouth. When I was alone, I used a supplemental feeding system (SNS) to assist me. The SNS was basically a bottle with a feeding tube attached, the end of the tube would be placed by the nipple so Emily would still get food. Emily had to have food in the shield constantly to keep nursing/sucking, when she would stop sucking on her own we would have to fill the shield with food to get her to start sucking and feeding on her own again. After about 4 days, she got the hang of things with the nipple shield and would nurse using it without needing help. She had learned that this is where food comes from. She was still very fussy with feedings at this point, I failed to mention before that when she was hungry, she would get fussy and since she was not getting food right away she got even more fussy and would "freak out" searching for food. This would go on for 10-40 min. before she would latch on with the shield and eat.
As of today, she still needs the shield (I lovingly call it the plasti boob) and her "freaking out" before feedings is now at most 5-10 min but does not happen at all with some feedings. Emily has also been started on a prescription reflux medication, so I don't know how much of the fussiness before was from reflux pain and how much was because food was not instant. Things have gotten better since using the medication though. Occasionally Emily will latch on without the shield, but not consistently and I don't know what is different the times she decides to. I honestly can not stand the shield (it creates problems of its own, sliding, falling off, etc.) and hope that one day I can toss them!
And for the Blues, I have the "baby blues" and it sucks! I know most of my overwhelmed feeling, frustration, and stress comes from breastfeeding. Most of the times when I break down is after a difficult feeding and I am left feeling inadequate, I feel like I was made to be able to feed my baby and I can't! I would say that 3 times a week I break down because of breastfeeding issues. I have been told by many that its not worth it anymore once you are not enjoying your baby, and becomes too much of a burden. I just feel that it's what is best for her, and even though it stresses me out at times and to be honest on the worst days I dread the next feeding. But once she gets latched on and nursing I love the time we have together, I know I get to bond with and snuggle her for the next 30-45 min. And I know that nursing has become comforting for her, on her fussy days she will want to nurse more and stays latched on well after she is getting any food, nursing for comfort. So even though I have difficulties accepting that we have to use the shield and I don't know what is wrong when it takes extended time to get her to latch on, Emily enjoys it in the end.
I definetly just have "blue" days for no apparent reason also, nobody tells you before hand that it is so life changing in so many ways to have a baby. I would never change a thing, but it is trying at times. I feel very overwhelmed at times and have become much more anxious and paranoid about things since Emily has entered my life. Many of my worries involve her, all those "what if" things in life. I'm sure as time goes on, this will get better and the "blues" will resolve.
I just wanted to get out everything that was overwhelming me with this post, more for me than anything else. But also many people don't know what a difficult time I have had with everything and this may help others understand why some days I am not myself and why I have been so distant to some. I spent almost the first month after Emily was born in my room with her. I would get out to go to my sisters or parents occasionally but I failed to return friends calls and would only leave the house when needed (doctors appointments for Emily or we really needed diapers). All for fear of breaking down and letting it all out in public. One day when I went in for Emily's weight check at the doctors office that I work at I started crying when a friend asked how I was doing, no words came out just tears. To most people I always respond I'm just tired when asked how I am, this really means I'm tired, hungry, overwhelmed, on the verge of tears, and I'm having a "blue" day. She was a close friend and I knew I could not hide it, and I just started to cry. The last week or two have been much better overall. I've set up lunches with friends and have been out of the house much more, I am having more good days than "blue" ones.
Our difficulties started from day one, we had a hard labor and delivery that resulted in Emily having a fever, broken clavicle, and swallowing ALOT of fluid. This caused her to be very sleepy, in pain, and very sick (lots and lots of spit up and a sore tummy). She was too sleepy to be interested in eating right after birth (plus her tummy was full of fluid). Then she had to stay in the nursery overnight, the nurses would not bring her out to me, due to the large amounts of spit up they wanted to watch her closely because she was choking on it at times. Positioning was made difficult because of her painful injury. Due to the delay in her eating, we ended up having to start by training her how to suck.
We had to train her with finger feeding. We would place a finger in her mouth, and let her suck, pushing her tongue down to the proper position when needed to get the correct suck. After she got the hang of moving her tongue correctly then we started to use a syringe to give her some food. A big hurdle was over, she now knew how to suck, we just needed to get her to the breast and now almost 6 weeks later this is still my struggle. We started the process using a nipple shield, a plastic nipple placed over mine - this hits the roof of her mouth right away to trigger the natural suck reflex. We still had to teach her that food now comes from the breast area and not our fingers, this was again done by syringe. When someone was able to help me, they would syringe food behind the shield or into her mouth. When I was alone, I used a supplemental feeding system (SNS) to assist me. The SNS was basically a bottle with a feeding tube attached, the end of the tube would be placed by the nipple so Emily would still get food. Emily had to have food in the shield constantly to keep nursing/sucking, when she would stop sucking on her own we would have to fill the shield with food to get her to start sucking and feeding on her own again. After about 4 days, she got the hang of things with the nipple shield and would nurse using it without needing help. She had learned that this is where food comes from. She was still very fussy with feedings at this point, I failed to mention before that when she was hungry, she would get fussy and since she was not getting food right away she got even more fussy and would "freak out" searching for food. This would go on for 10-40 min. before she would latch on with the shield and eat.
As of today, she still needs the shield (I lovingly call it the plasti boob) and her "freaking out" before feedings is now at most 5-10 min but does not happen at all with some feedings. Emily has also been started on a prescription reflux medication, so I don't know how much of the fussiness before was from reflux pain and how much was because food was not instant. Things have gotten better since using the medication though. Occasionally Emily will latch on without the shield, but not consistently and I don't know what is different the times she decides to. I honestly can not stand the shield (it creates problems of its own, sliding, falling off, etc.) and hope that one day I can toss them!
And for the Blues, I have the "baby blues" and it sucks! I know most of my overwhelmed feeling, frustration, and stress comes from breastfeeding. Most of the times when I break down is after a difficult feeding and I am left feeling inadequate, I feel like I was made to be able to feed my baby and I can't! I would say that 3 times a week I break down because of breastfeeding issues. I have been told by many that its not worth it anymore once you are not enjoying your baby, and becomes too much of a burden. I just feel that it's what is best for her, and even though it stresses me out at times and to be honest on the worst days I dread the next feeding. But once she gets latched on and nursing I love the time we have together, I know I get to bond with and snuggle her for the next 30-45 min. And I know that nursing has become comforting for her, on her fussy days she will want to nurse more and stays latched on well after she is getting any food, nursing for comfort. So even though I have difficulties accepting that we have to use the shield and I don't know what is wrong when it takes extended time to get her to latch on, Emily enjoys it in the end.
I definetly just have "blue" days for no apparent reason also, nobody tells you before hand that it is so life changing in so many ways to have a baby. I would never change a thing, but it is trying at times. I feel very overwhelmed at times and have become much more anxious and paranoid about things since Emily has entered my life. Many of my worries involve her, all those "what if" things in life. I'm sure as time goes on, this will get better and the "blues" will resolve.
I just wanted to get out everything that was overwhelming me with this post, more for me than anything else. But also many people don't know what a difficult time I have had with everything and this may help others understand why some days I am not myself and why I have been so distant to some. I spent almost the first month after Emily was born in my room with her. I would get out to go to my sisters or parents occasionally but I failed to return friends calls and would only leave the house when needed (doctors appointments for Emily or we really needed diapers). All for fear of breaking down and letting it all out in public. One day when I went in for Emily's weight check at the doctors office that I work at I started crying when a friend asked how I was doing, no words came out just tears. To most people I always respond I'm just tired when asked how I am, this really means I'm tired, hungry, overwhelmed, on the verge of tears, and I'm having a "blue" day. She was a close friend and I knew I could not hide it, and I just started to cry. The last week or two have been much better overall. I've set up lunches with friends and have been out of the house much more, I am having more good days than "blue" ones.
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Welcome
So I have been thinking about starting a blog for some time now, seriously thought about it once we moved to FL but then moved back so it was not as important, now that Emily has joined our lives I decided to finally get started. This is a common problem I have actually putting my thoughts into action and doing. I plan to use this blog to update family and friends on our life, and hope it helps to keep in better touch with people. I often feel that I am the last to know family news and I hope this helps not only keep others updated on our lives but makes me log in and check out others blogs as well :)
As most of you know Paul and I are new parents! I could not imagine life without our little peanut. Emily Gray entered our lives Sept. 23 and weighed in at 7 lbs. I have been a pediatric nurse for several years now, giving advice and caring for little ones, but wow is it different when it is your own. Emily had several "issues" once she arrived but things are starting to go better now. Emily is starting to be much more alert during the day and stay awake for a few hours at a time, its fun to talk to her and interact more. She has started to coo some and had her first true smile a few weeks ago - we went to visit Paul at work for lunch one day and as soon as she saw her daddy and heard his voice she had a big smile. These days I have been at home on maternity leave and enjoying every day of it, though it is tough at times. Many days I do not get a shower until Paul comes home and I have to admit I enjoy that time to relax. Its amazing how priorities change once babies come! I would not change a thing and would do it all over in a heart beat.
As most of you know Paul and I are new parents! I could not imagine life without our little peanut. Emily Gray entered our lives Sept. 23 and weighed in at 7 lbs. I have been a pediatric nurse for several years now, giving advice and caring for little ones, but wow is it different when it is your own. Emily had several "issues" once she arrived but things are starting to go better now. Emily is starting to be much more alert during the day and stay awake for a few hours at a time, its fun to talk to her and interact more. She has started to coo some and had her first true smile a few weeks ago - we went to visit Paul at work for lunch one day and as soon as she saw her daddy and heard his voice she had a big smile. These days I have been at home on maternity leave and enjoying every day of it, though it is tough at times. Many days I do not get a shower until Paul comes home and I have to admit I enjoy that time to relax. Its amazing how priorities change once babies come! I would not change a thing and would do it all over in a heart beat.
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